Just because a mentor starts unconsciously humming Motown tunes during a heart-to-heart talk with you about temptations, that doesn’t mean his advice is irrelevant.

A church in Cottage Grove, Minnesota has made national headlines because of an audacious “In order to save the village, we had to destroy it” strategy to rebrand itself.

The church plans to close its doors in June and reboot itself in the fall, with a new focus on young families with children.

All well and good, except church leadership has been asking its older members to “take one for the team” and haul their intimidating old carcasses to some alternative congregation, out of sight of hoped-for newbies. A couple of years down the road, the outcasts can meekly beseech their former congregation to let them darken its doorway again.

The Bible tells us that God has the hairs of our heads numbered. And apparently church strategists maintain a database on their degree of GRAYNESS.

To think, theologians have debated the exact nature of the Mark of the Beast for nearly 2,000 years, and now we have it narrowed down to either DOUBLE CHINS or VARICOSE VEINS!

We are told that Christians are supposed to be a “new creature” when converted, but where in the scripture does it also say they must remain as CUTE as Baby Yoda?